Survival mode.
We moved. Then I got pregnant. Lost a baby. Prego again. Sick, sick, sick. Newborn. Baby blues. Hubby gone. Seizures. Christmas. Depression. Etc.
I feel like I've only been barely surviving for a while now. Barely keeping up with the routine and letting so much else slide. My house has turned upside down. Cupboards, drawers, & house overflowing with things I needed to clean and catch up on. Feeling like I will never catch up or find myself again. Bleh.
I think some of the worst of the overwhelming stress comes from LAUNDRY! I had no idea when I agreed to becoming a wife and mother of the never-ending-fight that is keeping my family clothed. I have been swimming (drowning) in loads for years now. Every week starting laundry day by re-washing the last load from the week before that never made it out of the wash. Eeek. Going through piles of used-to-be-folded clothes all over the house sorting the clean from dirty and would have been clean but now they're with dirty. Rewashing. Refolding. Kids unfolding, leaving more piles all over the house, piles to DI, piles of mending, ironing, . . . to the point that I start feeling like giving up on it all. Like my whole existence is soo meaningless. Silly, yes. But true.
About a month ago I was probably on the brink of a nervous break down. Exhausted and depressed, I fell asleep in the middle of the day. A very rare but needed nap. In my sleep I thought of a new method to my laundry routine. I woke up with the ideas in my head & tons of energy. I ran to the store, bought a couple things, came home with enough time to start my new plan before getting Halle from school.
I didn't expect it to change so easily or so well but my new dreamt up Laundry Makeover works!!! With very little effort I have successfully kept up on laundry for a solid month. "Kept up" is the wrong wording. I feel like I'm not even doing it anymore! It's so simple! What was I thinking, why did it take me so long to realize that the way I was doing things was simply not working?
It is silly maybe how big of a difference it has made. I feel like this huge never ending stress in my life is gone. I am even enjoying it!
I told this to my sister who replied, "Who are you and what have you done with my sister?"
The only reason I blog about such a silly thing is to remind my future self when reading this: When things are not working, stop it! Revamp! You don't have to do things the way you see other people do it or the way you've always done it. What works for others or what used to work for you, doesn't matter if it isn't working for YOU. Take control and fix it! Find a better way.
Not just with laundry. But all of it.
Having such a huge burden gone has effected everything. I am back to making my meals in the morning. My dishes routine is working again. I have had the extra time to put most my cupboards etc in order again. It's like there's a light at the end of the tunnel...with projects I have been craving to do for so long. Stuff I enjoy. The last week or two I have started to feel that old me again. That girl that used to enjoy LOTS of things. Feels so good.
So things are going much better. Crazily enough, thanks to the laundry. Who would have guessed? And to whichever angel up there took the time to whisper some tips in my ear, thanks. Keep me going, k?
This is why Dad's are supposed to come home at the end of the day so the mom isn't alone to become a monster.
I'm working on it, ok?
*sigh*
